Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Today was one of those days. I literally looked at the calendar and had it figured out that in 4 years, 3 months, 5 days and 12 hours, I will be free to leave this city.

I have never wanted this to be an "I hate Washington" blog. "Hillbilly Debutante" was invented as a creative outlet, as a way to have a good time, let loose and mostly just make fun of myself.
But I also want to clear up a misconception. I haven't lived on the farm/ranch in over 20 years. I am also a fairly educated person and I speak perfect English (so don't let the 'hillbilly talk' fool ya!) This isn't my first experience with city life. I've lived in several cities across the country and overseas.

In that 20 years, I have lived an exciting, blissful, happy life surrounded by tons of friends and people who love me.

Except here.

I have always been able to adjust to the culture and get along famously wherever I have lived.

Except here.

I'm not great-looking, don't play a musical instrument, don't sing, dance or paint. I have no athletic ability (does equestrienne count?), can't stick to a diet. I'm a bad driver, a bad cook. I can bake a good pie, but the crust always turns out ugly, which cancels it out.

But the one thing I've always had is exceptional people and speaking skills. People have always liked me and I have always liked people. I have never, ever left a place without making a friend.
My number one goal in life has always been to be 'nice.' Sounds hokie, doesn't it? I know, but it's true. One of my best qualities is that I don't have one mean bone in my body. I've always been able to engage people as well as entertain them with crazy stories and one-liners.

Except here.

I love to be the cheerleader, the encourager, the one you know you can depend on when you have a wild and wacky dream in life and no one believes you can really pull it off - I'm the one at the end of the finish line with open arms waiting for you! I LOVE to love people and I LOVE to be loved, and I've always been so fortunate to have that in my life.

Except here. Here that gift is null and void. I have no purpose in this place. No one needs anything from me. At work, the store, the streets, I can greet someone with a friendly smile and 'hello, how are you?', and they're faces are blank. I've even had people try to pick a fight with me over a smile. Sad, but true.

Your blogs make me happy. I love reading about what all of you are doing, what you have planned. I laugh with you. I pray for you and with you. I cry with you. You all offer something unique. Most of all what I love is feeling that no matter where you all are located, you're just a 'mouse click' away and I can 'visit' anytime I want.
I would love to hear some of your ideas if you've ever been in my position and feel that you've been 'misplaced and forgotten.' How did you deal with it? How did you get over it? Did you have to move? Thanks for 'listening' and I'm eagerly waiting to hear your comments.


Old Centennial Farmhouse said...

OH...I don't have an answer for you, but I feel so bad that you, you sweet gal, are treated so in that place! I know that you're from a warm and friendly place and it must be like living on MARS or something to be treated like a pebble on a sidewalk! Praying for you, because this has to be hard to deal with every day! (You DO have a church family, don't you?? PLEASE say yes!) ((HUGS)) Joni

Lisa Ann said...

Aw sweetie I hate your so unhappy up there. I've never been one to make friends easily and that's saying something being from this part of VA. I wish I was closer to you so we could hang out but I'm six hours away so that won't help you any. All I can do is send you a big old {{{HUG}}}

Kristina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristina said...

That really stinks! I don't think you can do anything different, you're just being yourself. It sounds like it's the other people that have issues. I wish you were in my neck of the woods! I'd hang out with you!

Valerie said...

Hey, Kathie.

Sounds like you are definitely in a bad funk! I am sorry that you are "stuck" so to speak, so I am sending you great big hugs from the heartland!

Reading your posts make me appreciative of what I have! Although I claim to "hate" Kansas City and have my own countdown until we can move "home" (St. Louis or some nice retirement community in the south that allows children since I am, like, one of the oldest room mothers around LOL) I have come to realize what a friendly bunch we are here in the midwest.

My girlfriend, former flight attendant for American Airlines, experienced similar difficulties living in NYC. While the culture was great, she never could get over the fact that people rarely greeted one another, let alone SMILED, while living in her tiny apartment in Manhattan. Such a different way of life! She too lived all over (LA/SanFran, Dallas, Miami, Salem-MA), but just could't adjust to NYC.

So, sending lots of midwest hospitatlity your way!

Kathie Truitt said...

Thank you, ladies. Like I said, it is so wonderful to have blog friends. You are all so dear to me.

The Vintage Housewife... said...

oooh sweet kitten...lets hugg...heehee...it makes me sad to see my blog friend not happy...

well miss thing...you make you happy! you are fab-u-less...so show it and who cares who knows it!

you have a kind heart and wonderful qualities...so show it...even the ugly pie crust is fab when you eat it...shine honey shine...

forget where you live...who's around only you can make you happy...

there are times passer-by-ers...don't get the old 50+ year ol' housedress thing- well so what i love it!

so miss vintage hillbilly debutante...miss kathie...shine girl...be you! and honey stop by anytime for some vintage kitten time...lets do lunch...in blog land...hee hee prayin' for you doll...sass it up! cat

~Crystal~ said...

I do one thing & that is I'm glad you stumbled across my blog & left me a comment. I think you are such a breath of fresh air. And I enjoy your writing immensely. I'm thankful that you are just a mouse click away also. :)

I can understand being unhappy, in a place that you can't find your "place." All I do know is that it will get better. You are there for a reason, even when you have zero idea what that reason is. All these people sure are missing out on a pretty incredible person, from what I can see.
Sending you love from Bama.

Karen said...

I can't imagine why a girl like you would be overlooked anywhere, Kathie. I'm sort of like you in that we both are optimists and enjoy people. I've lived a lot of places too, and have found that "my type of people" tend to gravitate toward me in time. That leaves the naysayers and those who think I'm "over the top" or unconventional to disappear into the wind. It takes awhile to sift those people out and find the like-minded ones like you.

You must feel isolated and lonely at times; just keep in touch with your homegirls in the hills until you can leave DC.

Bobbi said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I have felt EXACTLY the same way every time I've gone to DC. The last time was a disastrous "fun" trip to Mount Vernon, where I found the employees to be fairly evil. And I like just about everybody! It made me decide to Never Go There Again. I feel for you! I am a firm believer in the "Wherever you go, there you are" theory, but DC is just wierd. Bobbi

juls4real said...

Oh, my gosh. I could have written this same post. I feel like I've been dropped in LaLa Land. I've always had a ton of friends, except here. ???? I'm buying a trailer (like kitten down there) and going on the road, too. And I'm moving home (back to So. Cal) as soon as this house sells. This has been the weirdest last 2 1/2 years living here. Sounds like it has happened to you, too. Well, sister, it isn't you. Believe me. And I do have a church family. So hang in there. Stop by for virtual coffee anytime. xoxoxoxxo Juls

Amanda said...

Hey friend...wow can I relate! When I moved from Houston to L.A. (actually Orange CountY) you would have thought I was in a different country! And those TX license plates didn't go over so well either! Like you, I tried hard to talk to people 'cause as you know us southern folk are just friendly folk. Most looked at me like what is she doing talking to me? Fortunately, I found my place and made some friends. Home is where the heart is....not where you live...is what I learned. Love ya, Amanda

Lady-in-the-Making said...

You know, I just found your blog and I really like you.

I have only read three posts but I'm going to hit "follow" right now.

Although I live in south Florida, I'll definitely be honored to be counted among your bloggy friends.

Hugs from down south!