Wednesday, April 15, 2009

So many of you out there

according to blogs, e-mails and phone calls I receive, are participating in the annual March of Dimes Walk for Healthy Babies. Many of you know what that means to our family and words aren't necessary. You just know.

The rest of you? You don't. And even if you were here beside me I don't know that I could find the right words to say.

So, I'll tell you the best way I know how.

Jayson Charles Truitt came to us in the wee morning hours of September 10th, 1987.

He was beautiful with his Daddy's light brown hair and olive skin tone, and my blue eyes.

Too exhausted and numb to show any kind of emotion, I silently watched as Mama and my mother-in-law took turns holding him, softly talking to him, singing to him as grandmothers often do.

Throughout the maternity ward the joyful sounds of new life echoed throughout the hallways. Gentle coaching from doctors for Mom's final push, the robust cries, followed by the jubilant laughter of Dad's, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

The nurses had wanted to move me to the 5th floor during my labor - to protect me from these sounds.

"No!" I demanded. "I want to hear them - I need to hear them."

Maybe it was the heavy-duty drugs they gave me - but, somehow I felt like this situation was a 'numbers' game and it was 'someone's time to go through it. So,if someone had to do it and that person was me, then I would take it like a man. Because I was strong and I could handle it. As if I'd been chosen for that reason....

I sat very stoically as the nurse wheeled me to a car waiting outside to take me home. Home to an empty nursery. Home to a toddler that would have so many questions when I had no answers.

Passing through the lobby, past the gift shop and out the automatic doors, I looked down at my arms. Arms so empty that they ached.

No woman should have to leave the labor/delivery room or hospital empty-handed. No one.

A few years later I was blessed with the oppotunity to became the spokesperson for the Missouri March of Dimes, traveling the state, telling our story.

There are so many stories like this. But every year, because of people like YOU who take time out their hectic schedules to get involved, there are less stories like mine to tell.

So, to you, I want to say 'thank you.' YOU are my hero.

For more information on exactly how the March of Dimes works to prevents infant mortality, and ensure healthy babies, please log on to


Lady-in-the-Making said...

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how those 'empty arms' feel. Thank you for doing what you've done and for your honesty in sharing this story.

God bless you.

Amy said...

I am sorry for your loss. I was lucky, after 13 long weeks, to bring home my little miracle. Without the research that is done and people searching for whys, I don't think our little guy would be as healthy and whole as he is. Thanks for sharing.

Gracie Beth said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will think of Jayson when I do the March of Dimes in 2 weeks! I have had the best time harassing my friends into giving me all their spare change!

Joy said...

I'm sorry about your loss, I've come across several women in the past year that have lost their babies right before birth and soon afterwards. I feel for them and you. Thanks for sharing.