Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Broken Dreams

Have you ever wanted something so bad, and I mean so bad that you begged God to make it happen?

I have.
It was the summer of 2005 and I wanted to move back home. I had a contract on a farm house and I was ready to roll. I was trading in the world of politics, rush hour traffic and road rage for what I love most - dogs, horses and Wellington boots.
But alas, the real estate market crashed. I couldn't give that house away. Every day went something like this, "God, please, please, let this house sell. Please let me out of this place and let me go back home."
Even at the last minute I pleaded and panicked, "I am begging you to not make me stay here."
One day, though, it just became painstakingly evident that Washington, DC, is where I am meant to be.
So, I started Hillbilly Debutante.
When you go back to the beginning I am sure my anger is very evident. It has been interesting to me to review and witness my 'slow as a snail's pace' transition from angry white redneck woman to beleagured blogger, to finally, a woman accepting of her plight.
My mother kept telling me that for some reason, I am supposed to be here.
She's right. If I had left here, I never would have started this blog. I never would have written that book, and most important, I never would have been around for this:

It breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes to think that I could right now, as we speak, be sitting half a continent away from my Sophia Floriana.
Thank you, God for telling me no. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Is there an issue in which God seems to be telling you 'no'? I am asking you to be patient and know that He is in charge and wait to see how He is working in your life.
(P.S. I should be getting a release date on the book within the next 3-4 weeks)


Princess Freckles said...

What a beautiful granddaughter!

trash talk said...

She is amazing, beautiful and perfect as God designed her. The hardest thing to do is to give it over to God and take our hands off of it. He alone knows what we need and He alone will provide it. We just have to believe and trust. Your sweet baby girl is proof positive that sometimes No is just the answer we needed! Praise God for keeping you firmly in D.C.

~Crystal~ said...

She is absolutely precious!

Loved this post. It's so true. God is in control & He sees the whole picture of our story. Where we only see this one small piece of the puzzle. And are consumed with making it fit.
Thanks for reminding me...You know I need to hear it from time to time.

Gracie Beth said...

She is beautiful just like her grandmama!

Lisa Ann said...

Aw she is just as beautiful as her grandma. Very beautiful!

Jennifer said...

Beautiful! I can't wait to hear more about the book's release.

Kristina said...

Oh she is just precious! Congratulations! There is nothing better than a new baby, I almost want to cry just looking at her.

short southern momma said...

Isn't is amazing how our prayers are being "answered" and we don't even realize it at the time? Your granddaughter is precious!

ADG said...

Kathie...she's so beautiful. If I'd had a succesful marriage and had started earlier, I'd have had a house full of 'em. And as a daddy, I'd love to have had a house full of girls. Being a parent is the zenith of existence.

Love to all.


English Cottage in Georgia said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. The beauty of your granddaughter and the truth of your words. In my teens and 20's, I bargained, negotiated and pleaded with God always trying to force my will, unwilling to have patience with his perfect plan. Finally in my 40's and 50's, I get it. I love the song, "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks.
Now going to your early posts to read your venom...LOL!

Javamom said...

Congratulations GrandKathie :-) and I'm so happy for you that you obeyed God's leading.

Sophia is gorgeous and precious, all at the same time.

Solo said...

Oh com'on! That was a beautiful granddaughter. ;D Lucky you Hill.;D
You have such a pretty little kid there. Have a wonderful workweek, enjoy! ;D

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Kate said...

Congrats on the beautiful granddaughter :)

Coffee with Cathy said...

What an adorable baby! So precious. You will so love being a grandma to her -- and thank you for the reminder that God works in mysterious ways.