Wednesday, November 25, 2009

"When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need."
For four long years, my son and I were the victim of a stalker. Not your run of the mill, 'I'm going to follow you everywhere you go and call your house and hang up' stalker, either (although I am not minimizing the terror that I am sure goes along with that type). But a 'false victim' stalker. I know. I'd never heard the term either, let alone know these people even existed. I won't go into too much detail about False Victimization Syndrome. I'll just let you google it. What I will tell you is that only 2% of the stalking population are False Victim Stalkers, in comparison to the majority which are Obsession Driven. It is almost 100% same sex gender-stalking and almost always women. FVS is a very new and complex diagnosis so authorities are still struggling with how to deal with it.
It started as complaints from this one woman (that I knew and thought was a friend) to my son's teacher accusing us of child abuse and neglect. We had only been in the area for about 9 months, so the teachers and school didn't know us all that well which made the situation worse.
After two weeks of panicked, sleepless nights clutching my child, wondering if every car that drove by was Social Services the school dropped the questioning/investigation. Even though Will absolutely did not fit the profile of a child being abused, they have to investigate every single accusation. Yet, when the principal told this woman not to call, visit or contact the school again, she continued to call and write letters.
When that didn't work, i.e. she couldn't brand me as an abusive mother (she literally wanted the school to have my child taken from me) she followed me every where. Sometimes she would just stand in front of my house, staring, waiting for me to come outside. BUT...she would tell everyone else that I was the one stalking her.
The last 6 months we lived there, my son couldn't play outside alone (she followed him around taking pictures and videoing him). I couldn't even step outside by myself. Not to get the mail. Not to walk the dog. Not even to get behind the wheel of my car to drive away. We both had to have round the clock witnesses and protection.
This woman was dangerous. I thought, and I am not exaggerating, I thought she would kill me. Or hire someone to do it for her.
I was literally a prisoner in my own home. The witnesses - and yes there were plenty- who knew this woman was lying - were too afraid to come forward. They were afraid they'd be next.
It was at that point that I knew, I knew that I was totally alone. I will, for the rest of my life remember the pain of listening to a prosecuting attorney trying to convince a judge that someone had done all these terrible things and they must be punished and the realization that the person he was talking about was me. ME!!
You see, that is what a False Victim Stalker does. They need the attention of being a victim. Thus, they make up lies, stories and events that never happened.
It never ends peaceful. Or pretty. You have to completely remove yourself from that person because they will never stop. They become more violent. A lot of times it ends in murder. I'm not being melodramatic. It's a fact.
It was during this time that I learned the meaning of the above statement.
So let me say it again.
"When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need."
There comes a time in your life when you realize it doesn't matter who you are, who you think you are, how much control you think you have; the only thing and I mean only thing you can rely on is God.
This event was my wake-up call.
I can't begin to tell you what I lost during that time. But what I gained is more precious and valuable than gold.
The knowledge of knowing I am not alone.
Oh, and the book deal is pretty nice, too (wink!)


Old Centennial Farmhouse said...

WOW! I just cannot wait until your book comes out. And what a trial to come out victorious and wiser. There are, I'm sure, lots of people out there who will be helped by reading your book. I wish for you and your family the HAPPIEST of Thanksgivings!

Amber Smith said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Kathie, I hope you enjoy with your family. It is true, that God is always here for us. I cannot imagine the terror of what you describe happened with this stalker, but am so glad that you are talking about your experience in the past tense.

trash talk said...

And when that time comes, the hardest step is the first one out of the boat...turning it all over to God and letting Him have full control. This was a lesson I learned in February and I cling to it.
God has obviously rewarded you for choosing His path and not trying to do it alone.
Hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Life is good.

Valerie@travelingthrough2 said...

It is amazing that people can twist things and get people to believe their stories even after witnessing with their own eyes the truth. Can't wait for your book!

Angela said...

Hello! I came here from Suzanne's blog. I can't imagine what you and your son went through in those four years. Praise God that it has came to an end! It is amazing to me that that can happen to someone who done no wrong. That's just wrong!

Don't forget to vote for Suzanne!

Melissa Lester said...

Wow, what an ordeal! You really were a prisoner in your own home. I wonder if that lady has transferred her focus to someone else now that you have moved. I definitely want to read you book, and it sounds like a good movie also.