Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Stalking Laws? Not really.

I want everyone to take a good look at this picture.
This beautiful child, was only 23 and a newlywed when she was gunned down a few days ago by a man who had stalked her for two years. Two years.

Aliss Blanton met her stalker while she was a waitress at Hooters. (First of all, I want to address something for those of you who have never set foot in a Hooters Restaurant. It is not a strip bar. It is a family restaurtant. I would take anybody to Hooters and not be embarrassed. If the Lord decided to come while I was eating fried dill pickles in Hooters I would have a completely clear conscience. But none of that should matter. Even a stripper doesn't deserve the hell of a life that comes with being stalked.)

She changed jobs to get away from this man. He followed her. She moved to another town. Still, he followed her. She got married. He then harassed her husband as well. This man showed up at their house. He once blocked her car at her new job so she couldn't get out, proceeded to walk up to her car window and screamed at her through the glass.

She had 72 pages of e-mails and letters. She documented every single time he'd been to her house, her workplace and other places he'd tracked her down.

Yet, according to Florida's protective order laws she didn't have enough to prove he was an actual threat. Instead, the judge set a date two weeks later to review the evidence to see if there was 'enough' evidence that she might be in danger. Her stalker was then notified that on February 16th there would be a hearing. He ended it before that happened.

What most people don't know is that while, yes, there are anti-stalking laws in place in all 50 states, those statutes are absolutely worthless if you are being stalked or harassed by a stranger, friend or acquaintance.

In other words, here in Virginia, you can get a restraining order against your husband, your cousin, your children, grandparents, any blood relative or anyone that you've ever been married to, lived with, or had a child with. Your next door neighbor or anyone else for that matter can drive you absolutely crazy and there's not a thing you can do about it.

The other states that are more liberal with their protective orders only hand them out if the person has already done harm to you.

Someone made the comment to me that I should be happy it's hard to get a protective order in Virginia. You see, my stalker was a woman who wanted to become her victims. She mimicked their life. Everything from dressing like them to buying the same vehicle, following them to the places they went. When she could not take over their life or become them she would destroy them. Many times this meant trying to make herself out to be the victim. Telling neighbors, police, any one who would listen that she was the one being stalked - by her victim. It's called False Victimization Syndrome. It's related to Munchausen by Proxy - you know, the women who harm/kill their children because they need that attention that comes with having a sick/deceased child. These people are psychotic and they are dangerous. I'll talk about this more in length at another time.

Yes, of course I am happy that this sick person was not able to get a restraining order. When I saw what she was trying to do, though, I was able to take steps to protect myself. I'll also go over that in more detail at another time. Everyone needs to know what to do to protect themselves.

I'll stop for now. But my next post will be about the different types of stalking. If I can help ONE person, just one, it will be worth it.

Someone I know who is an expert on the False Victimization type of stalking told me I should dedicate my life to educating people and lawmakers about this type of harassment. I have to tell you that I'm tired. I am so raw after writing my book, and having to go back and do edit after edit, and delve back into that dark time that I never wanted to give this subject a place in my life ever again.

I am now rethinking that decision.

Please feel free to ask questions or make comments. If you or anyone you know has ever been a victim, please share your story.

Until next time,

kathie

7 comments:

Nezzy said...

WoW! I know that many victims are murdered by people who have restraining order on the killer. There is something very wrong with our laws that allow this to continue. Can anything be done....please let me know!

God bless and ya'll have a glorious day!!!

Jennifer said...

That is so scary! There should be harsher laws concerning this! No one deserves to have to live in fear of another human being and not have the law on their side! Something must be done to fix this! If there is anything we can do, or a petition to sign, please let us know!

CZ said...

kathie - thanks for sharing. This is truly scary stuff...something NO ONE should ever have to deal with. I'm so sorry you have been a victim of such a terrible crime. Hugs, CZ

Brittanie said...

What a sad and horrible situation! How scary to think we are't really protected! Thanks for the info.

Anonymous said...

In all seriousness, if this was happening to me, or someone I loved, the stalker would die.

"Anonymous" response for obvious reasons.

gCe said...

I am currently going through the process of filing a restraining order against the boy that has been stalking me for a year...

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, so I can watch the best virtual strippers on my taskbar.