Friday, April 25, 2014

Just 'Be' (My answer to a readers question)

 

"Do you ever do or wear anything that you wonder if you're too old for?"

Uh, yeah.
 
 I do NOT worry about such nonsense any more and as long as it's not a sin and it's not hurting anyone then I do and wear exactly what I want!

Well, here's a secret:

It took me forever to get to that place in my life!!
 
And boy howdy, have I made some big mistakes along the way.
 
Let me share with you some words of wisdom. If I can 'save' one person from falling into the same trap I did, it will be worth it.
 
You see, when you're an insanely happy, witty, creative, free-spirited person it is very
hard to fit into just any ole' job.
 
Very. Hard.
 
I was blessed. I had the perfect job for 2 decades of my life.
 
I was a radio personality.

I was good. Don't take that as conceit. It's not.
 
We're all good at something.
 
Some people dance. Some people sing. Others sew, paint, play an instrument or are great at sports.
 
I talk.
 
I wrote most of my own material, won a few awards, and even had great ratings
 
No one thought anything of it when I wore funky clothes, sported a sassy, unique - (i.e. wierd) haircut
or spouted off zingy one-liners

It was expected of me. I was an entertainer
 
BUT (there's always a big 'but', huh?)
 
One day I got tired.
 
No, not tired of my job. Tired of what I thought I was missing out on.
 
Tired of being different.
 
For once, I wanted to say something

that no one laughed at.
 
I wanted to be in a place, a job where people took me seriously.
 
So, I started a process.
 
I decided to conform.
I grew my hair out.
I changed the way I dressed.

I gave up a career that had been good to me and that I was good at

to do something else, so I could
 
be like every one else
 
Well, guess what?
 
Those things people loved about me when I was on the radio?
 
Those are the very things people despise about me as a regular Jane.
 

Witty comments and comebacks aren't recognized as feminine traits
(now I know why I didn't date much in high school)
 
happiness and a loving nature is considered suspect
(i.e. fake)
 
When someone mentions an incredibly famous person at a party and you say,
"Oh, yeah, I was on stage with them once!"

or

"I was at their house"
 
they either think you're lying or bragging
(mostly they think you're lying)
 
And ultimately

you get to the point where you realize you can't keep up the charade.

Conforming sucks.
 
It never really works.

You are who you are.
 
But you can't go back.
 
Oh, sure
 
You can go back and cut the hair
 
wear the fun clothes
 
get a tattoo
 
But now you're stuck in a world/job you don't belong in
 
and you stick out like a big, ugly, sore thumb.
 
The moral of this story?
 
Know who you are.
 
And be.

Have a career and lifestyle that supports that.

Don't care if it makes you a lot of money.
 
Learn to live in your means, because if you're doing something that let's you be you,
the money isn't that important.
 
The most important thing is
 
It won't feel like work at all!

10 comments:

Gracie Beth said...

I like you just the way you are now!

Summer said...

Very well said my friend.I really love this post.What was written here are true.We do not really need money or i must say that money doesn't really makes us happy and worthy.But being true to ourselves,and enjoying life happily..
Nothing much to say here,you just wrote it all.;D
Have a great day.;D

~Crystal~ said...

Thanks for sharing this advice & hopefully sparing some of us from the same growth pains. I'm so glad you are in my life, even if it is through the computer.

Solo said...

Wow!
I really appreciate this post.I can relate on it.Hopefully many people will touch their lives by this post.;D Thanks for sharing it.

http://www.solofoodtrip.com

Farmgirl Cyn said...

I think I'm a pretty fun gal, and was always SHOCKED when I would find out someone didn't really like me all that much! WHAT???
Now, it rolls off my back like water off a duck. It is what it is, and I am who I am. Doesn't mean I don't grow and change, but the underlying personality that God gave me will always be there! Sounds like you have found that out for yourself, also!

English Cottage in Georgia said...

You have so touched my soul with this post! I have always felt different than other girls. It is even worse now at the age of 53 since my move to Georgia.
Being a straight talking Texas girl with political opinions among Georgia GRITS is a challenge :-).

allie in g'town said...

It's like Oprah's fond of saying...the truth will set you free...Just, hopefully your truth is well dressed!

Frippery said...

First visit to your blog. I completely agree. I tell all my friends that 50 was my most freeing birthday, since then I feel like, this is my life so I will do what I want. Each birthday since has been more fun than the last. I always raised my kids to be themselves because hubby and I had fairly strict parents. (a little rebellion) So although my son has dreads down to the middle of his back he is pursuing a degree in Neurobiology then on to Med school. He says docs and scientists can wear what they like. My daughter is starting at UC in Fine Arts next year and would like to supplement her college bills as an apprentice tattoo artist. So, even if it took me this long to really feel free at least my kids have parents who encourage their own free spirits. And BTW, I adore a relaxing pedicure. On to explore more of your spirited wisdom. Pam

holli said...

What a wonderful honest truthful post! I feel like its healthy to want to make personal changes (ie: change hair, new style clothes) , you just have to be happy with your choices no matter what others think. Its always a hard lesson and it comes with maturity. Now that i'm older, i dont care near as much what others think.

Grasshopper said...

My first time to your blog as well. This post resonates so well with me. I am in my mid-30s and feel like I have reached that crossroads... the point where I have to decide whether to keep doing what everyone else wants me to do or change direction. It is so hard to figure out who I really am after being what others expected for so long.